Final Reflection

Nothing about this semester or photography course is what I expected. 

I had a difficult couple of semesters with multiple deaths, plus my best friend, my sister, and mother were diagnosed with terminal cancer. So . . my advisor suggested an easy elective and cruise a bit through a semester. That sounded so good.

I thought photography was a beginning course, in the realm that it would show me the basics of using the DSLR camera my husband had purchased for me years ago. All through the first class, I was pretty sure Leonie was speaking in tongues. "But, but, but, where's the "on" button to my camera, how do I recharge the battery, and how can I use, or not, the auto settings when I don't even know where they're located. And what do you mean by get Adobe Photoshop Lightroom something, but not Adobe Photoshop?" I walked away thinking, "What just happened?"

I am 61 years old. I grew up in and eventually left a religious cult. Higher education (high school & above) was looked down upon. It was through my dear husband's encouragement that I enrolled in college in my late 30's. I absolutely loved it but had to give it up when he returned to school himself to get his Master's. When our youngest was about to graduate from high school, again my amazing husband encouraged me to finish school. I had less than 4 semesters to complete my degree.

With that in mind, there was no way I wanted to quit this class. It may be messy, but I was determined to make it through even if Leonie wasn't making a bit of sense. Most of the semester, I have felt overwhelmed. Every class, other's asked questions and made comments that left me scratching my head. I just leapt in and gave it what I could. It's all I knew to do to learn.

The most difficult part began as soon as I clicked the button to leave the meeting when class was over. Now what? I printed off each assignment and carried it with me. I read the parts over and over. Sometimes I figured it out and others, not-so-much. But with each attempt, I learned. That's what I was here for. As I did each assignment, things began to fall into place. "Oooooh, that's how the Exposure Triangle works!" 

The breakout sessions were golden. Each and every time, the first question from others was, "are any of you totally lost or is it just me?" <gasp> I wasn't alone. These people spoke "me!" What a wonderful opportunity to work our way through together and find a solution. 

The second greatest help for me were the comments on my assignments. While I wish I had figured things out before hand, on my own, it was those nuggets that I needed. I could then see where I went off the rails and where I succeeded. I never felt judged, but encouraged to keep going.

The peer reviews were a tool that allowed me to look at the assignments from a different perspective. Seeing other student's work helped level the playing field in my mind, because I had them on a pedestal. Talking to them helped me realize we were in this together. What a wonderful gift.

Bottom line for me is I love taking photos. I am, now, more mindful of the process. I have a much better handle on how to operate my camera. Most importantly, I don't have to be perfect. My photos are my own. I can create my own style. I can express myself in a positive, artistic, holistic genre that suits me. 

I will probably not maintain my website as it stands. I'd rather use it to create a personal diary of my life, the life of my kids, and my grandkids in pictures. That's the story I want to tell. It's been an amazing life. I've been to places, experienced, and done things most people only dream of doing. I want the same for them. Take chances! Do the seemingly impossible.

This class was not what I expected. I did not foresee the hard work. I also did not foresee the personal growth and healing this class provided. Getting out there with my old DSLR camera went a very long way in recovering from life's  downers of the previous year.

Thank you Leonie and Gigi!

PS: I did find the button to turn on my camera.